Don’t you think love and attention are the same thing?

I paused. It hadn’t been long since I finished onboarding at the Crisis Hotline and began fielding calls for those suffering from suicidal ideation. Almost everyone knows someone affected by mental illness, but what can you do as a non-professional to help?

Listening to a stranger open up, not knowing if this quote would be their last words, was hard to hear. I asked—with personal curiosity—my singular response: “why do you think that?”. I was tuned in, listening to their tone, their wording, even their silence. How can something so powerful and precious (love) be equivalent to the easiest thing to offer (attention)?

I was 17 when I started. At first, I felt I wasn’t equipped to handle it—after all, another human’s life was on the line. What life experience did I have to give? Everyone talks about creating ‘impact’. But what do my actions suggest? Looking back, it was an urge to contribute. Even after hundreds of calls, every conversation launches me into a new struggle to help how I can.

At the center I worked at, we call ourselves ‘Befrienders’. At the core, that’s all we do. No advice. What I realized is when someone calls, they’re not looking to hear someone else’s take on how to solve to all their problems. What do people want? A listener. Helping means a non-judgemental ear: our utmost attention and genuine human love.