How To Be More Impulsive
Oakland, CA
You are too smart for your own good.
I felt that as a backhanded slap. I’ve heard this before. My whole life I never stopped what-if-ing. I pride myself on clear thinking and correctness, but the side effects include: anxiety and perfectionism.
Your first memory of this was from your high school track coach. You were running the 400m, a sprint too long to go all out, but too short to not try. In other words, just painful enough to strategize a hundred different ways to run it. He told you to let go. Listen to your body. And you thought about whether he was right each time you willed your limbs through the burning. All you knew was your body was in pain.
My last memory of overthinking was midway through a conversation. I was drained from the party before, waiting for the train with a new friend, trading existential postgrad qualms. I slowed down to just listening. While she spun more and more theories of her life trajectory, I saw yourself. How much of her thought tunneling mirrored your own? You hurriedly agreed with her and tried to change the subject: you realized you’ve been circling around the drain for a while now.
Looking back, there was no awakening. Your overthinking was the way to creating problems that were never reality to begin with. But it’s only overthinking once you recognize it as unnecessary. How do you have less thoughts?
Trust your inner animal. It’s surprisingly easy to let go. Deep down, you already know what to do. And if you know the direction, charge straight ahead. Eat when you’re hungry. Exercise when you need energy. Do what compels you. Just do what your human body instincts you to do. Sit down and write. Lace those shoes and go til you can’t. Call them and speak your mind. In fact, this becomes so easy, you find it becomes hard to turn off. You’ve spent your entire life trying to wire your brain, it becomes obvious to do the things that come naturally.
You learn to let your body move you and your mind guide you. You still turn into yourself once in a while. But most of the time, your solutions are not in your head. They’re in the real world.
Overthinking creating problems. Brain becomes hostile towards you.
The biggest thing I’ve learned over 2023 is to stop overthinking. It’s easy to recommend. Stop theorizing, take action! It’s easy to stay in the notes app. It’s easy to be an armchair coach. Simple recommendations. But it’s hard to get in there and really do what you recommend.
I had too many thoughts. I felt like it was this: keep thinking about a problem and try attacking it from all angles, eventually you gather the ones that worked the best and then you can magically paint the solution.
I’m not sure if anyone thinks the same way, but eventually I looked back and I realized I had maybe like less than 5 consequentially good thoughts per day.
A high school coach gave me the solution a long time ago. Listen to your instincts. It’s surprisingly easy to let go. Become an animal. Just reactively attack your emotions. Eat when you’re hungry. Clean when you feel dirty. Exercise when you feel energetic. Just do what your human body instincts you to do. In fact, this became so easy, it became hard to turn off. You’ve spent your entire life trying to wire your brain, it becomes remarkably easy to do the things that follow instinct only.
The mind is not to be discarded. THe body is certainly worth listening to, but the mind is still a good critic. Let your actions move you, but let your mind guide you. Once it’s done the navigating, you can stop thinking so much and start running ahead like a wild bull.
In a conversation with a friend, I realized how much she was overthinking. In that very moment, my reaction to her thoughts casted a hall of mirrors. How much of what she was doing is what I’m doing? I hurriedly agreed with her and tried to change the subject. Yesterday, I would’ve implored a little deeper. We would’ve gone in circles, like one of those coin things where you put it in and it swishes around the hole, seemingly never going in.
People that pride themselves on intellectualism love to strategize. Thinking thinking and thinking until they get the perfect solution. What I’ve realized is that much of that time thinking can be better spent turning the solution you pick into the right solution. Almost every choice is just the best option, but not a complete solution. In committing to the option with what you know, you can turn it around.
Looking back, there was no awakening.
Your problems are in the real world. Reasoning is good, but not enough. You tihnk enough and it starts to get detached from the real world too.
Okay, well how do I even get less thoughts?
How to think less (actually)
toxic girl on youtube has one too
this person thinks this. this is going to happen.
made that situation up → felt the same way as if it already happened
i learned to trust life.
no one even knows you. you exist differently in everyone’s head. you also grow continuously.
I was really introspective for a while. Worse, I thought I was better than others for it. Too much thinking is actually not good. Especially post grad, I loved writing and journaling and eventually I was speaking to a friend, listening to her spiel about the exact same things that I probably was saying and I realized — I am overthinking.
Don’t get me wrong. I had great thoughts. But without a bias to action I was all talk spinning cycles around what I wanted. I wanted things too perfect. For everything to line up out of my own imagination.
A lot of times I turn into myself and try to think my way through problems. Introspect. Meditate. And sometimes I talk my way out into a clarifying thought — oh I need to do X. But most of the time, your solutions are not in your head. They’re in the real world.